Relationsh*t: 5 Keys to Relationships

Welcome back everyone. I hope you had a fantastic weekend.

Lets pick our topic for today. Since you can see my title, we will be discussing relationships and how they can become Ships to SH*T. Relationships. Now I usually pick a topic, because it is something that has struck my attention recently or something that I am personally going through. But let’s start on how a relationships starts. You meet someone and it starts to go very well you start dating. From there things get more serious, maybe you hook up (OH YEAH) or maybe you met his/hers friends or family. You start going on to having a relationship. Just you and them, no one else (so you hope) and they become your significant others. OH HOW ROMANTIC, I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU. Okay let’s see how long this last; are they the ONE?!

Well, relationships takes time and work (a sh*t ton of work). Lets talk about the steps for a great and successful relationship.

black and white love GIF

Key 1. Communication

This is HUGE! You need to talk to your significant other and let them know how you feel. The “I love you’s” and “How are you feelings” are important, but what is more important that will eat you up inside is if you are upset or hurt about something. DO NOT HOLD THAT IN. DO NOT let that be swept under the rug. I come from divorce parents after 31 years together. (YES, they were together my entire life until one day BANG, that’s for another blog).  But I have seen it all, the secrets, the lies, the “I’ll get over it”, “they won’t do it again”, etc. Listen up! They may know something is bothering you, but nobody is a mind reader you must communicate and express yourself.

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Key 2. Express Yourself

So what is expressing yourself (all I hear is that song by Charles Wright). Basically doing what my girl Lady Gaga is doing up there! But what I am saying, do not change yourself for someone else and don’t hide who you are, because they do not approve. NO! Your significant other must appreciate you whether you are a reader, gamer, explorer, blogger, traveler, painter, etc. We all have things we love to do and that should be brought to the table. I go through some strange phases where one day I want to watch Operas or I want to start blogging about my life, my boyfriend approves and completely encourages me no matter what. That is how it should be. Open safe space for the both of us. No judgement! You can’t lie and hide yourself from someone you are with, it will eat destroy you and eventually take your relationship down with it.

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Key 3. No Lies

So why did I make this number 3, why isn’t it one. Well if you are communicating with your partner you wouldn’t have to worry about lies, but even lies slip up here and there. I think this is pretty obvious, DON’T F*CKING LIE! I think this doesn’t need toooooo much explaining, but I will elaborate. Little white lies can just add an unwanted toxic vibe into your relationship you do not want. Whether you are the liar or they are, this lie will grow, someone will get caught and that’s it. You might lose trust that you have been trying to earn for 6/7 months. All it takes is one moment. So why lie, if your significant other understands and respects you they will understand. Maybe be hurt, but then we go back to Key 1; communicate about it and move forward.

i respect that morticia addams GIF

Key 4. Respect

You must respect your significant other all the way. Respect their space, privacy and them. It must work both ways, you have to earn their respect, just like they have to earn yours. Don’t give that sh*t away for free! Plus, if you don’t respect your significant other then what are you doing? Also, if they don’t respect your wishes, GET OUT OF THERE! Your body is your temple, nobody should disrespect you in any way where you feel uncomfortable. Not only do they have to respect you, but your friends and family. If they don’t like one of your friends/family members, too bad! They need to respect the fact they are important to you. Nothing is worse when your family or friends don’t lie your partner, that’s when things start to get hostile and adds conflict. If your partner wants to be with you, they will respect that, trust me!

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Key 5. Trust

Yup, you said it trust. You have to trust them, their decisions and solutions . You can not micromanage your significant other. This is the last and final key in a relationship. You can build trust with following Keys 1-4, but you can destroy it with something as simple as a white lie or not communicating. It is normal to not trust some right away, it’s like respect. It has to be earned and it takes steps to get there. Eventually one day you will realize that you trust your partner and that they are doing things for the both of you; for your best interest. Sometimes you may not agree with them and that is also normal, but if you trust them you must let them do it their way. You are officially a team when you are in a relationship, whatever you do will affect the person you are with. Good or bad. If they fail you are there to catch them and if you fail you need to trust that they will be there for you. *Trust fall*

kissing first kiss GIF by La La Land

A relationship is a ship in itself, you need parts to build it and keep it afloat, if you don’t it will eventually sink. And just like the Titanic, if one side goes down the other will too. Nobody wants that, you both have to be on the same page. Your relationship can go into a relationsh*t in no time! Don’t let that happen. Make up sex is great and all, but how about some hott passionate into each other romance (Yes, Please!) I have seen love last til death do us part (My lovely grandparents) it is out there. It is harder than ever now to concur this with social media, dating apps and sex is easier to find; I get it. It is out there though, a few trial and errors are going to happen. You are going to find yourself, lose yourself and find yourself again. Don’t lose hope, when you hit all the 5 keys above you will realize how easy it is to find the right fit for you. Trust me!




Don’t be a fake friend

Alrighttttyyy I am backkkkk and I want to pick a topic that I feel relates to a lot of people: FRIENDSHIP! YASSSSS we all have friends, we may have 1,000 friends or maybe a small group of like 5 friends (ME). Whatever you may have, friends are extremely important (in my opinion). NOWWWW do we know the boundaries with our friends. Do we even have boundaries with them? Are you expecting too much from your friends? Are you not expecting enough? Do you do too much or not enough? Do you feel unappreciated? Do you not appreciate them as much? Seriously, these are questions that are important in a long lasting friendship.

What is even worst than not knowing the answer to this is allowing jealousy or envy into pictures wars GIFyour friendship (BRIDE WARS, best movie). Give a little, get a little. It is okay to be a little selfish, but you have to let your biffle be selfish too! Its like a phone- HELLLOOOO works both ways. Your best friend may just be your best friend to benefit herself and that’s when things get hurtful. Now to make sure you aren’t the “bad” friend, you need to look in the mirror and see what you do/don’t do for your bestie. As an only child, I know that I can be a tad bit selfish, just because I was raised with no siblings- I never had to share my toys. I try to make sure that I don’t make it ALL ABOUT ME, because it is not! It’s about us!

Your friends should support you and have your back. They truly listen to you and makefake friends roy purdy GIF your problems, their problems. VICE VERSA! You are a team, someone messes with them, they mess with you. I feel like it is so simple, but til this day we still have FAKE FRIENDS. Talk shit behind your back, don’t listen and don’t care. They lie to you and go about their day. I’ve seen it 100 times and I’ve experienced it myself. It’s like we are back to high school all over again. It’s ridiculous! I don’t get it. If you are trying to “out shine” your friend or even compete with them, come on, are you even their friend. “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer” kinda motto. Sadly, this is the main reasons many friendships fail, even after years.

So I am going to talk about this on a personal level, but it is hard to find true friends! I have my little circle of friends that I tell my deepest darkest secrets (you know who you are). But at my age it is harder to fit into a new group of friends, where do you even find new friends? Who knows! (I want a Monica and Rachel relationship, #bringbackFriends).  I love all my friends and I appreciate them dearly. We may not talk everyday, but I try to keep an open door and make sure I do my “best friend” duties. As a friend you have to love their flaws as they love yours.  They may be a crazy chick or they may be a nun, who cares, that’s your friend you defend them. You ain’t perfect!

Doing your biffle duties is similar to doing your girlfriend duties in a relationship. Riding lonely jennifer aniston GIFsolo ain’t going to get you far. Don’t treat your friends like shit and just hang out with them when you have nothing else to do, benefit yourself, that is just LOW. Fuck boy status right there. Or my personal favorite, only call when you have: A. Gossip about another friend, B. Brag about Yourself, C. Talk about ONLY your problems, or D. All the Above; then WTF! UH NO! NOT OKAY! I get we are all busy but its 50/50, you give a little & you get a little. There is no excuse, Sex and the City, group of successful woman and had plenty of time for each other, men and SEX! So please give me your best excuse!

Which brings me to the next point….When is it okay to “lie” in a friendship? Just a simple white lie. I will tell you right now, IT IS NEVER OKAY TO LIE! Even as small as you don’t wanna do some thing with them. Say the truth, it will be greatly appreciated. Would you lie to your significant other or would you want them to lie to you? Let that sit in for a second. _______________ NOOOOOOOO! I would kill my man (JK I WOULDN’T), but I would be so hurt that eventually everything they might be saying is fabricated (Who Knows). So when someone you trust lies to you or even tells you a “version” of the truth, that starts to deteriorate your friendship. Yes, yes, I know people makes mistake, but let’s be realistic.

These are things I have learned the older I get, I have seen it before done to others as well as myself. At the end of the day when work isn’t going your way, your significant other is being a jerk and you feel like the world is collapsing around you, your best friend should have your back. So don’t sit back and expect for your friendship to grow on its own. See where you stand as a friend. See where your biffle stands. See where your group of girls stand. Because your biggest fan should be your best friends. Well I hope my words of FRIENDSHIP help you achieve your best friend duties!  Go be a best friend and more!

sex and the city friendship GIF


27 and studying for my LSAT

How do you even start blogging…. well it took me a night where I couldn’t fall asleep to basically recite in my mind how I am here today. Allow me to introduce myself:

Big City, Small World
Another day in Miami . . .

I am 27 years old and studying for my LSAT. How did I get here? Well, let’s start with a little background. (Insert Old Lady Voice): A LONG LONG TIME AGO…. JK! but seriously let’s start.

I went to Culinary Arts school after High School and was ready to become a Pastry Chef (yeah right). I watched too much Food Network is what happened. I finally graduated with my AA and had an internship as an Assistant Pastry Chef in South Florida. At 19 years old, I got my very first apartment and a full time job. I was set! WHOOOOHHOOO, SIKE! WELCOME TO SOUTH FLORIDA. I need another job to make ends meet, so working in retail we go. Eventually I burned myself out; dropping off my girlfriends at the club and then heading to work around 3am then my second job at 6pm. Not ideal! After working retail a while, I got promoted and I thought I REALLY like this! I can do this, so I up and quit my pastry chef job and stayed full time at my retail store.

WELLL NO SURPRISE, I need another job again to make ends meet (UGH). Well, food and beverage is my background, so off to serving part time. Two jobs and living the life, so what’s next! BOOM, Back to school for Fashion Merchandising (retail job was going extremely well). So, let’s switch it up! After a wonderful year meeting new people and my life long friend (not mentioning names, but she knows who she is). So I thought, I was on top of my game. SIKEEE AGAIN, horrible car accident the day before my finals in December (wasn’t my fault btw). My car was totaled, physical therapy for an entire year (sh*t happens). Back to square one basically, left school and stayed focus on work to catch up on weeks I missed. After a few promotions and changing jobs, I finally settled for a job that I could make ends meet. So after these two paragraphs, I still haven’t exactly explained how I’m 27 and studying for my LSAT.

Let’s continue shall we, I was working a few months in a serving job, I meet a few customers (mostly my regulars) who would always ask me, “Why aren’t you in school? You are a bright young lady with an entire future ahead of you.” I was 23 at the time, still young- but not that young, most of these comments never bothered me, because what do you do in big party cities. Yup, you just said it PARTAYYYYY, so that’s what I did in my free time. Well, I eventually met a customer, young Hispanic man (that detail will have a meaning soon) who just got into University of Miami, bright future ahead. Who came in with his friend, after short conversation he was Cuban American (like myself) and didn’t believe that I was Cuban (because I’m a fake blonde). In the midst of showing him my natural brunette hair in a photo from my phone, I was called by my manager and had to leave my phone at the table (Yes, clearly I’m crazy, but can’t have phones out during work). Long story short, he called himself from my phone that day and he became my future ex-boyfriend. No, seriously he did. On a date of ours he drove me to school to enroll and that’s how 23 year old me got back into school.

Fast Forward 3 years- two close relatives died, parents divorced in a horrible manner, got my BS in Hospitality Management and was recruited for a 6 month-MIT program in Central Florida. (YEAH WOW, def not going into detail about that). Well, OFFFFF I go, yet again, another moment where I thought I was set! SIKEEEE!! 6-month program ended, they wanted to pay cut me and my boss was a major douche (not even a joke, he straight up belittled me behind closed doors and had issues with a lot of employees). I left. Unemployed, how exciting. It was just my 27 year old self in a bad-ass two story apartment with my cat and new boyfriend, but no income. (Yeah, you read that right) Time to start from square one, AGAIN!! I eventually found a Hospitality Management job in timeshares (If you have never worked timeshares before, it is not a drill) it was all about sales and making quota.

Sadly, my great aunt died in a tragic pool accident and back to Miami I go. My lease was ending in May and my entire family cried wolf for me to go back home. So I thought, mmm sure why not go move into my dad’s new 5-bedroom, 2-story house with a pool, that sounds like fun. HAHAHA, still no income. South Florida is not fun with no income, long distance is also not fun. After a few months this horrendous feeling of unaccomplished and having no interest in my field anymore (thank you douche bag boss and dreadful timeshares).

What to do, what to do. I could go back for my MBA; maybe look into marketing or real estate. YEAH MAYBE. So after multiple opinions of people who like to have opinions (family, friends, etc.) Also, not bashing those opinions, but then my parents both told me (who are not on talking terms btw) “Why don’t you become a lawyer, you have always said you wanted to be a divorce lawyer.” No really, that’s true, you need to watch Laws of Attraction and Intolerable Cruelty- that’s what did it for me. So whats the first step to becoming a lawyer. PASSING YOUR MOTHERF***ING LSAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and ladies and gentlemen that’s how I became 27 and studying for my LSAT.

Continuing to how I started accomplishing that. My boyfriend surprised me one weekend when I was completely down and lost. SURPRISE! We had a little chat (my boyfriend is not much for words) and we talked about what was going on. So after he left I had a few days of thinking and back to O-town I go. Enrolled into a LSAT Prep Course (thanks to my father) and ironically got hired as a part time receptionist that week. So here I am 27 and studying for my LSAT.

Now if you read all this, I give you hella props! Thank you for hearing me out, but sometimes while studying I get this “brain-block” I wanna call it. Where I just can’t focus and I think to myself “How the hell did I get here?!”. So I decided to express myself by blogging. I see tons of “IG models” and “Fitness Models” blog about whatever it is they blog about and why can’t I blog about this! I know for a fact I am not the only person in the world who has come to a dead end multiple times. Also, I know I am not the only person studying for something life changing right now. Whether it is a classroom test, MCAT, LSAT, GMAT, BARS, etc. Nobody has this perfect life that they portray (SURE, you might be on your A game right now), but that’s right now. How about tomorrow and the day after that?

Thank you again for reading my first blog, I want to make this consistent. I want to make this something daily or weekly with different topics. Either about family, friends, studies, etc. Let me know what you think, I want feedback good or bad! (Preferably good, get your pessimistic ass out of my shit) haha JK. Thanks!